Is there much worse than sitting down for a family meal and getting a dog or puppy jumping all over you, or whining for table scraps?
Personally, it’s something I hate, but that boundary is a challenge and really frustrating to train.
It’s a hole I noticed in my own dog’s training – and as a professional dog trainer, I immediately got really embarrassed when my dog’s couldn’t just chill whilst we ate at the table.
Now, admittedly, like most families the Rebarkable household doesn’t spend a lot of time at the table – certainly less than I’d like. But hey, we’re a home where we’re eating on the sofa, or gaining sustenance so that we can go work and that doesn’t always mean we use a table – so I set about doing some training.
Now, I do live in a multi-dog home, and I have two coonhounds and a german shepherd, I’m also a trainer who does this for a living, and has won a lot of awards for my training – so I want to share what worked for us, and how you can adapt it to your own home.
Note: If your dog struggles with resource guarding – this training is not for you! Table manners do not solve severe behavior problems like resource guarding, the same way a crate doesn’t solve separation anxiety. Please engage a qualified trainer or behavior consultant for this!
teaching table manners isn’t that hard, it just needs practice
It’s almost a trope these days, of a dog begging, those big ol’ puppy dog eyes over the dining table, and then bam kid feeds them the broccoli under the table, Right? But why is that? Other than the kinderschema that happens, dog owners like to make their dog happy.
First, we have to remember our dogs, being opportunistic eaters, will take advantage of any and all opportunities to eat. It’s why they scavenge, and raid your bin, it’s also the reason (we suspect) that our dog’s ancient ancestorsended up getting domesticated.
This tendency can translate into begging behavior, given the right conditions. A significant factor that shapes this tendency is the response they receive from humans when they demonstrate interest in our food. If a puppy learns that making eye contact, whining, or pawing at the table amounts to a share of delicious tidbits, the connection is made: begging equals rewards.
Looking for a more structured approach to training your puppy? Want to get rid of that unknown? Pupdates is your answer!
This is one of the prime examples of positive reinforcement in really life.
Positive Reinforcement was defined in operant conditioning, and essentially means if the subject is given a positive result from a test, it will be more likely to use that approach again.
Which in this situation translates to “If I beg, and get food, I’ll beg again” and so bad table manners begin. And when you get a new puppy, it’s so easy to give in, and let them have a little people food from the table. This is very much like counter surfing.
Positive reinforcement sits at the heart of successful dog training, focusing on rewarding good behaviors to promote their repetition. So how, do we shape table manners, when the act of begging is reinforcing?
dogs are opportunists! They will usually eat when the opportunity presents
Essentially, we manage access to jumping/begging and we reinforce an alternative behavior.
This is, at it’s core, an advanced bed/place cue with heavy distraction.
This works for your living room meals too, just manage a space away from your sofa and be aware that your dog will naturally have more access to you and your plate on the sofa, than at a table
The very first thing we’re going to do is look at how an ideal mealtime looks for you. You’re sat at the table (or your sofa, no judgement), and your dog is where and doing what?
For me, this looked like: I’m sat at the table, and my dog goes to bed, lays there for the duration, and then gets rewarded when we’re done. We also have a tether to the stove (stove is around 500lbs) which allows some error, but we can shorten it down if we need to.
For you, you might be okay with them getting a treat, or a kong every night at dinner time, you may be okay with them sitting beside you – so long as they’re not drooling over your spaghetti (Spaghetti a la slobber, anyone? No? Huh…). For everyone, that looks different. Write yours down and…
Look at your home, and look at your goal. I find it really easy to set up like this:
We keep an adult either side of the table, closer to the dog, children are placed further down the table, and the dog bed is in the corner (this also helps us minimise access to kitchen counters!).
We also tend to keep a jar of treats in the center of the table for ease of access by the adults on the table (We want to make sure that kids don’t become treat haven’t, because kids tend to flex the rules quickest).
We keep the bed close to the dining table – this is actually one of our dog’s normal sleeping area, but it works well for this training too. I keep it close enough to our dinine area, but not too close. This way you can balance your dogs FOMO (Fear of missing out) with your desire to create distance from the distraction on the table.
Multi-dog home note: If you live in a multi-dog home, please start this training separately. That’s really important for all training that involves multiple dogs – you train individually, then in pairs, then in trios etc.
This really bothers me, it shouldn’t! But it does. So we worked on it.
I find (when training this for myself, and with others) that the following basic commands (or cues) are useful things to know prior to this training;
The good news is that these are pretty easy skills to teach and are just a great foundation to build your dog table manners upon.
* A containment method here, is referring to something like a crate, a play pen, a leash, a baby gate, or even a door or dutch door will all work well. For outdoor dining you may want to look at a leash!
Heck, when do we sit at the table without food there? This means your dog learns (pretty quickly too) Table = food. So, we have to learn or help our dogs to craft a new association: i.e. Table means I go to bed. (Bed of course here can mean any designated spot).
This pretty much just involves you sitting at your table, and directing pup to their bed. Asking them to lay down and rewarding the behavior.
Initially this may look like you focusing solely on your pup, then it may look like you phasing your focus and building duration – depending on how good your dogs place/bed skill is, and how high their food drive is.
quick meals make it easier for pup to succeed.
Whether that’s breakfast, or lunch, you may find that starting with a shorter siting is going to make it easier. So maybe even something quick like a slice of cake.
Keep the rate of reinforcement (i.e. how quickly you reward) really high to begin, so that literally may be one mouthful for you, and a treat for them.
This is why I say keep the meal short because it’s very easy to get frustrated as a human with this, let alone with a dog.
As you progress, you can either measure in bites, or in seconds, but try say, one bite, two bites, one bite, three bites etc. until your reliably getting around ten bites.
If pup breaks position, redirect them to their bed, reward them for going to bed, and recommence eating, remembering to reward a little quicker this time and build up again.
If Pup can’t hold the position, increase the management, for us this looks like adding...
Personally, it’s something I hate, but that boundary is a challenge and really frustrating to train.
It’s a hole I noticed in my own dog’s training – and as a professional dog trainer, I immediately got really embarrassed when my dog’s couldn’t just chill whilst we ate at the table.
Now, admittedly, like most families the Rebarkable household doesn’t spend a lot of time at the table – certainly less than I’d like. But hey, we’re a home where we’re eating on the sofa, or gaining sustenance so that we can go work and that doesn’t always mean we use a table – so I set about doing some training.
Now, I do live in a multi-dog home, and I have two coonhounds and a german shepherd, I’m also a trainer who does this for a living, and has won a lot of awards for my training – so I want to share what worked for us, and how you can adapt it to your own home.
Note: If your dog struggles with resource guarding – this training is not for you! Table manners do not solve severe behavior problems like resource guarding, the same way a crate doesn’t solve separation anxiety. Please engage a qualified trainer or behavior consultant for this!
teaching table manners isn’t that hard, it just needs practice
We Always Start With Understanding
It’s almost a trope these days, of a dog begging, those big ol’ puppy dog eyes over the dining table, and then bam kid feeds them the broccoli under the table, Right? But why is that? Other than the kinderschema that happens, dog owners like to make their dog happy.
First, we have to remember our dogs, being opportunistic eaters, will take advantage of any and all opportunities to eat. It’s why they scavenge, and raid your bin, it’s also the reason (we suspect) that our dog’s ancient ancestorsended up getting domesticated.
This tendency can translate into begging behavior, given the right conditions. A significant factor that shapes this tendency is the response they receive from humans when they demonstrate interest in our food. If a puppy learns that making eye contact, whining, or pawing at the table amounts to a share of delicious tidbits, the connection is made: begging equals rewards.
Looking for a more structured approach to training your puppy? Want to get rid of that unknown? Pupdates is your answer!
The Role of Positive Reinforcement in Begging
This is one of the prime examples of positive reinforcement in really life.
Positive Reinforcement was defined in operant conditioning, and essentially means if the subject is given a positive result from a test, it will be more likely to use that approach again.
Which in this situation translates to “If I beg, and get food, I’ll beg again” and so bad table manners begin. And when you get a new puppy, it’s so easy to give in, and let them have a little people food from the table. This is very much like counter surfing.
Positive reinforcement sits at the heart of successful dog training, focusing on rewarding good behaviors to promote their repetition. So how, do we shape table manners, when the act of begging is reinforcing?
dogs are opportunists! They will usually eat when the opportunity presents
The Approach – In Short
Essentially, we manage access to jumping/begging and we reinforce an alternative behavior.
This is, at it’s core, an advanced bed/place cue with heavy distraction.
This works for your living room meals too, just manage a space away from your sofa and be aware that your dog will naturally have more access to you and your plate on the sofa, than at a table
Set a goal
The very first thing we’re going to do is look at how an ideal mealtime looks for you. You’re sat at the table (or your sofa, no judgement), and your dog is where and doing what?
For me, this looked like: I’m sat at the table, and my dog goes to bed, lays there for the duration, and then gets rewarded when we’re done. We also have a tether to the stove (stove is around 500lbs) which allows some error, but we can shorten it down if we need to.
For you, you might be okay with them getting a treat, or a kong every night at dinner time, you may be okay with them sitting beside you – so long as they’re not drooling over your spaghetti (Spaghetti a la slobber, anyone? No? Huh…). For everyone, that looks different. Write yours down and…
Prepare For Training
Look at your home, and look at your goal. I find it really easy to set up like this:
We keep an adult either side of the table, closer to the dog, children are placed further down the table, and the dog bed is in the corner (this also helps us minimise access to kitchen counters!).
We also tend to keep a jar of treats in the center of the table for ease of access by the adults on the table (We want to make sure that kids don’t become treat haven’t, because kids tend to flex the rules quickest).
We keep the bed close to the dining table – this is actually one of our dog’s normal sleeping area, but it works well for this training too. I keep it close enough to our dinine area, but not too close. This way you can balance your dogs FOMO (Fear of missing out) with your desire to create distance from the distraction on the table.
Multi-dog home note: If you live in a multi-dog home, please start this training separately. That’s really important for all training that involves multiple dogs – you train individually, then in pairs, then in trios etc.
This really bothers me, it shouldn’t! But it does. So we worked on it.
Pre-requisite knowledge & cues
I find (when training this for myself, and with others) that the following basic commands (or cues) are useful things to know prior to this training;
- Place or Bed – having a place or bed cue that your dog already knows and understands as an instruction
- Sit/Down – These are interchangeable depending on your goals. For me, I like down for this, just because it helps me see that they’re genuinely relaxing (over time).
The good news is that these are pretty easy skills to teach and are just a great foundation to build your dog table manners upon.
Useful Items/Skills
- Dog treats (food usually works well here as your reward, as dogs who aren’t food motivated don’t tend to beg)
- A bed or cot (to act as their specific place)
- A containment method*
- A Kong or other chew/enrichment toy (optional)
- Throwing treat accuracy.
* A containment method here, is referring to something like a crate, a play pen, a leash, a baby gate, or even a door or dutch door will all work well. For outdoor dining you may want to look at a leash!
Step 1 – Mock it up
Heck, when do we sit at the table without food there? This means your dog learns (pretty quickly too) Table = food. So, we have to learn or help our dogs to craft a new association: i.e. Table means I go to bed. (Bed of course here can mean any designated spot).
This pretty much just involves you sitting at your table, and directing pup to their bed. Asking them to lay down and rewarding the behavior.
Initially this may look like you focusing solely on your pup, then it may look like you phasing your focus and building duration – depending on how good your dogs place/bed skill is, and how high their food drive is.
quick meals make it easier for pup to succeed.
Step 2 – Start with a shorter meal
Whether that’s breakfast, or lunch, you may find that starting with a shorter siting is going to make it easier. So maybe even something quick like a slice of cake.
Keep the rate of reinforcement (i.e. how quickly you reward) really high to begin, so that literally may be one mouthful for you, and a treat for them.
This is why I say keep the meal short because it’s very easy to get frustrated as a human with this, let alone with a dog.
As you progress, you can either measure in bites, or in seconds, but try say, one bite, two bites, one bite, three bites etc. until your reliably getting around ten bites.
If pup breaks position, redirect them to their bed, reward them for going to bed, and recommence eating, remembering to reward a little quicker this time and build up again.
If Pup can’t hold the position, increase the management, for us this looks like adding...